what a day

today i have a lot of things to write.

first: i woke up this morning thinking the rest of the rest of the day might go bad. i was just thankful we had shortened schedule so that our 2 periods in physics would be cut off in two. then it would lessen the chances of mr. q. giving us another round of shouting fits which we noticed were getting frequent by the day. but actually, both periods turned out okay. we had an excursion which i enjoyed and we discussed it after, which i enjoyed as well. he was smiling and all of us were smiling. how i wished back then it would be just like that every day. that way, no one gets hurt or angry.

second: i was really pissed off when i heard there was gonna be an honors assembly because i thought and i thought i was sure i wasn't going to get any of those merit cards they were giving out this year. so i sat at the back with my friends, thinking how they would get a lot of those little cards while i will just be sitting, clapping for them. it doesn't really matter to me because i know im happy for them. but what happpened was the exact opposite. i know deep within myself that no matter how hard i try to deny that i don't want to be in the honor roll...it's just won't happen because a much bigger part of me will always wish for that privilege. so when i got called for the academic achievers, i felt i wanted to scream and thank God and go crazy. i never thought i'd get any because i failed in the science and math ao qt which was a big deal because they were major academic subjects. when i went back to my seat, i was thankful enough and didn't expect more but guess what? my name was called again for the honor list. i never thought i'd get in! and i ranked 9th which wasn't so bad considering the grades i had....i felt like i could cry out of ecstasy. and then when i saw hanie...i started feeling sad because she didn't get any. i don't wanna be happy while she pains inside. i know it must have hurt to have your name not called when you know you deserve to be in that list. if only i wasn't so afraid to tell her she didn't need those little cards to prove how intelligent she was. oh well. but generally, i couldn't really be any happier.

third: we had a really wonderful session in the ssg today.im not suppose to tell this but ill tell it anyway. but just the jist.well we had an open forum where we were allowed to say our resentments towards each other and let it out to that person. the president started and told us how he changed because of us. i wanted to object right then and there but i knew if i did, there'd be more misunderstanding. then mark amazed me with his bravery. it was the time where i could really say that he was a hundred and one percent man. a lot of people cried, i cried. hmmmn...i guess the ssg could make you do things you never thought you would do.

*sighs* well those three made my day expect the lame kalesa practice we had. ugh! our adviser is killing me! and i just wanted to snatch her white sandals and slash the heels off. they look very horrid with her yellow dress. well anyway, enough of that blabber. people have strong points and weak points. but sometimes, people have to learn to accept and respect the things that's not really their stuff. well, that's all i can write for now. 'till next time...toodles...