SUNDAY - A Memory

THE NIGHT AFTER

Wow! Last night was the most fun I've ever had since I don't know! I was in my drunkest self, I was dancing like crazy and I think I remember asking Paul to kiss me, which he did. Twice. Lol. Who wouldn't be f**king drunk? I had six shots of patron tequila BEFORE we went out so I was already getting there. But not totally there yet. When we got to Gabbannas, our friends were there already. Too many to enumerate. But they were fun people. They were already making rounds of beer, which I passed every time it was offered to me (because beer is a something non grata in my stomach). Sir Eugene and our gay friends were on the neighboring club so we went there to visit them. We met his boyfriend who was fairly cute. They were also making rounds of beer which the fairly cute boyfriend offered me which I did not refuse because gay people are so good at persuading people and it was for Sir Eugene. Patette wasn't there so Paul and I smoked a bit. Just one stick, mind you. We also danced there haha. Along with our other friends who went there to visit with us. Ah I had my first sandwhich dance! And it was with Paul and Aldwin, too!!! Then we went back and I had my second sandwhich dance. And another sandwhich dance. Lol. I danced with A, too. Couldn't look at his eyes. I don't know if it was because I was too drunk to focus on his face or if I deemed the dance an awkward moment because his girlfriend was just like some significant meters away. I also met Maricar on the toilet when I was sticking my fingers on my throat to throw up. I was VERY drunk so I think I kind of greeted her rudely or something. I feel so bad. I always want to be nice to the people that the people I love love. But I think I couldn't help but feel jealous. A is very nice and he's easy to like. I'm trying to keep a safe distance between us because I have a very dangerous tendecy of falling for guys who give me attention. He was also joking about giving me a kiss because he totally saw Paul slobbering me. Even if I was already f**king stoned, I would NEVER EVER do that with a guy who already has someone he loves. And I would never do something as cruel as that to a girl I've just met. Maricar seems sweet and if A wants to cheat, which I don't think he will ever do, it will not be with me. EVER. But the thing is, if this is it. Then, this is it. I have no intention of denying that I've already stumbled. And in no time, I know I'm going to fall. But once I'm there, I have no right to act on it whatsoever. And I don't plan to. Not if I was drunk or concussed or out of my mind. I will not do anything about what I feel until the day comes when he's free and I'm ready. I don't wish for their relationship to end soon. God knows I don't. In fact, I want to cheer them on, to be happy for them. All people who are in love deserve to be happy with the people who love them back.

So enough with this ranting about love shit. After beer, we had VODKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had, what, five shots? So after those five shots, I can barely remember what happened. I do remember that Kenneth brought Kuya Lyndon with him and I sort of hugged him as if we were close. I don't remember exactly what I told him but I think I was saying something about Lynjun.and his girlfriend. Oops. Everybody else was drunk now and we were dancing with no inhibitions whatsoever. A few times I closed my eyes to sleep but Paul always woke me up. He is so loud and naughty when he's drunk hahaha. Around 1:30, I was feeling really bad. I didn't think I could hold it anymore so I insisted that we went home already. Sure, it was early but it was my stomach. I could have went home by myself but they insisted we went home together. So I paid for the vodka and literally stuffed the change in my bag. WE got into a taxi and I paid for the ride. I think my 500 peso bill fell when I was fumbling for the 100 bill. So now, I am an effing broke ass. But I am not really feeling bummed about it. I want to think it was worth it. Whatever I lost for the fun I had. The night and the day that led to it.

THE DAY THAT LED TO IT (haha)

The last day of the play I mean. I was so sad thinking it would end soon. Our late night rehearsals, our bonding in between scenes, our craziness, our whack ideas, our friendship. It won't be lost of course but the time..it was the time. It's the time that we can't bring back again. There was so much energy this morning. Call time was 9 but since everybody else was late as usual, we had spare time to eat and get a taste of another religion. They're called New Life. I had so much fun!!! I really felt God, you know. And I freaked out subtly when I saw Paul crying. I didn't think it was weird. In fact, I found it mysterious and overwhelming, So anyway, the first show was GREAT! We had great enery, Aldwin was great, Patette amazing and the rest of us energetic. Pattete's parents and kuya were watching so they kid of took it easy on the kissing scene. But in the end, her father got teary-eyed and so it was worth it, our energy I mean. The second show was just as great.Sir Eugene was a bit fidgety because the great Dr. Rosal was watching. Lol. When it was time for the third and last show, we held hands for a bit and held back tears. We prayed to God for its success. But were sure of our ENERGY! There was SOOO MUUCH ENEEEERRRGY!!

The time has come. House music pervades through the hall and soon it is filled with people's hushed voices, coming in and sitting down. For a moment, this random unremarkable sound is like jazz music to our ears, gentle and comforting. For a moment, we are entranced to our own different reveries, we are taken back to the day when all of us, people who had little to do with each other, met and became friends. Our hands begin to tremble so we find hold the hand closest to ours and hold it tight. The hall gets dark and the hushed voices is silenced. The announcement is made and it starts to rain. Then the people meet a flower girl and a phonetician and a retired colonel. They see her change into a lady. They meet the professor's housekeeper and mother, a social-climbing lady, her handsome son, a flighty hostess and a big-stomached Hungarian. The people laugh then they snigger. Sometimes, they fall silent. Sometimes, they clap. But we know that always, that flowegirl amazes them.

A fight ensues and the phonetician is heartbroken and he breaks down and cries out the name of the girl he loves. The people clap and we cry. This is it. The end. The lights shine again and we are called. Soon after, the stage is filled with hugs and kisses and hands and tears and memories and words. This is the end. Sad but happy. This is love. This is our moment.