disperas fun (?)

well we dined at torn's tonight because it was the disperas (the day before) the housing fiesta. I wasn't really planning to go but my sister forced me too. She looked really depressed so I went with her. My cousin Erika said she wasn't well so she didn't come with us. I thought it would be boring. Funny how wrong yet right I was. Yeah, I know. I'm being repetitive and plagiaristic (is there such a word?) again.



Well anyhow, charlotte was there too. When Torn showed up with her, I immediately felt uneasy because we had this notion about her being really stupid and stuff. We got to talk to her, more importantly I got to talk to her. They were wrong. I was wrong. The Charlotte that we all backstabbed was actually really sweet and nice and she had a really beautiful smile. And I loved how her eyes twinkle when she laughs. I know sound really lesbian right now but whatever. I liked her. End of story.

And I got drunk. Probably in the most drunken state I have ever been. Dolly was there and we drank maria clara together. I had fun talking with her even though there were times when we would just pause and get embarrassed because we have run out of things to say. Oh and we also talked about the fiesta tomorrow and how our parents harmonize in the thought that we invite everyone and get no invites back. True. There was only one person who was decent enough to invite me - Earl. I didn't really expect he would. He didn't say it to me personally but I just felt that he really wanted me to come. Too bad I won't.

And I had another soliloqy. I read this essay by Julia (one of the best writers i've ever come across the net) entitles this will be enough. it just managed to make me cry, made me realize how stupid and bland i've been. it inspired me to write so I tried to write again this morning. And I cried because I still can't write a single fucking sentence. I don't really know what's wrong with me. Maybe because I've come to accept that I should find my own story to write. And that's what I would do...hopefully..