My days have been bad lately. I feel happy earlier in the day and then I find myself on the verge of self-injury a little later. Maybe it's the PMS thing I always hear but never actually experienced. Gah! At times I just want to kill someone!!!
Like yesterday, I went to Ayala to buy some stuff and as always, shopping made my happy. It was still early so I sat for a while and I headed off at around 6. Fucking traffic! Now you've probably guessed it that I arrived at 7 am. Thankfully though, one of my classmates seem to have been through the same boat and we arrived just about at the same time. I got 46/50 in my French midterms which is disappointing for me because I could have aced it had I taken it seriously and studied. Shite! I was just soo confident! But I was happy anyways. 46 is after all is still a high score.
Also, when I came home, the room was MESSY. And I spent 2 hours cleaning it like fuck and somebody has to mess it up in what, like, 2 minutes? I hate it when I do something nice and somebody totally screws it up and doesn't even bother or care to put the place in one clean piece again. And I hate the awkwardness. Because I know we both know that I know the HEAP of trouble she's into right now. I don't want to ask. She doesn't want to tell me, apparently. So we don't talk. AT ALL. Except of course when she asks me trivial things and I answer just as trivially. Talk about one hell of an elephant in the room.
It's just not me, you know. To be all brave and just bitch at someone like that. More so if she's been your friend for two years and who you thought was really cool until she goes and makes a big shit out of her life. Damn. I hate to be the firsthand witness of all this and I can't even do anything. I'd like to hope that she'd soon realize all the shit she's becoming. I don't even think she's beautiful anymore! She now looks like the crap's been beaten out of her! For now, I'll just keep silent until she comes around and gather up the courage to tell me herself.
Bad days, bad days, bad days. When will you fucking end?
You come to me, running with tears in your eyes and your arms longing to embrace me my hands, shaking drenched in blood, touch you for the f...
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