not exactly

I don't exactly know what to write except that I don't want to write.

Not about secrets of other people. What I'm going to say is that what I found out today was painful and right now I feel like I could cry for days.It's so unfair that the really bad things happen to good people.

I want to write though about how I lost my mom's engagement ring.

Saturday afternoon. It was hot and boring. After Godece, Sordy and I watched 10 thingsI hate about you, I suggested we went swimming at Family Park. It was just a spur-of-the-moment thing but then we went anyway. Before we left, I took off my ring because I DID NOT WANT TO LOSE IT there. Details of the swim are not noteworthy because the place and pool sucked. So we went home and I forgot to wear it back.

SUnday afternoon. After practice, Lori texts me that her 1000 peso bill went missing. She remembers putting it in her jewelry drawer but doesn't remember if she locked the door when she went out. I was thinking of checking if it was locked before I went down but DID NOT. I don't feel worry because it wasn't my money so I go home and help her look for the bill. I am telling her that I was lucky none of my things were stolen: Night is still on my bed and my money is still in my closet. I am confident when I suddenly remember that I am not wearing my ring. I panic and I rummage my jewelry box for it and COULD NOT FIND IT.

I cried so hard. I don't know how to tell my mother. I don't why things like these happen to me either. Apparently, I am not able to keep authentic jewelries. I lost the ring my mom gave when I was a kid when I put it in the giveaway box they gave away at my aunt's wedding. I probably took the wrong one and some lucky bastard found the ring and got lucky with it. Next, this gold necklace which I pawned Valentines Day of 2007. It was one of the things I regret most. The money I got and the things I bought with it were not worth it. And now, my mom's engagement ring. Got stolen when somebody entered our apparently UNLOCKED door. I still get teary-eyed thinking about it. I am just thankful Night was not stolen because if he was, I'd drug myself to death.

I don't want to blame my roommate but I can't deny that I'm placing half of the blame on her. Sometimes, I just want to stab her with my green scissors. She's so f**king careless and inconsiderate. And I know it's not good to think ill of people but sometimes, no, most of the time, I hope they'd kick her out and leave me alone (better) or with another roommate (okay with it).