One week without classes can make you forget to update your blog. Haha. Or is that ironic?
Rehearsals were full away this week. I watched a bit of volleyball, I visited the Regional Trial Court and witnessed two criminal cases, I also watched the Closing Ceremony for the Intramurals for the first time. Also apparently, I developed a crush on one of my co-actors. Haha funny.
I'm not sure how I feel yet because seeing Gen at the forum made me happy like heaven. And we held hands for a second which felt really good. AAAhhh!! Haha. And I bought that cake for Aaron because it was his birthday and because I wanted him to feel special. Not because I wanted to flirt.
And my mom came last Saturday and we shopped the whole day! I love it! I have a bunch of new stuff right now! And I got rich, too but got broke again. I treated Patette and Lori to Hola Espanol! Couldn't help it. I can't bear seeing Patette so down in the dumps so I just had to make her happy. And today we watched the 3D version of UP. I cried sooo hard! It was such a BEAUTIFUL movie!!
So that was what happened this week. Good luck to me this week!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
not exactly
I don't exactly know what to write except that I don't want to write.
Not about secrets of other people. What I'm going to say is that what I found out today was painful and right now I feel like I could cry for days.It's so unfair that the really bad things happen to good people.
I want to write though about how I lost my mom's engagement ring.
Saturday afternoon. It was hot and boring. After Godece, Sordy and I watched 10 thingsI hate about you, I suggested we went swimming at Family Park. It was just a spur-of-the-moment thing but then we went anyway. Before we left, I took off my ring because I DID NOT WANT TO LOSE IT there. Details of the swim are not noteworthy because the place and pool sucked. So we went home and I forgot to wear it back.
SUnday afternoon. After practice, Lori texts me that her 1000 peso bill went missing. She remembers putting it in her jewelry drawer but doesn't remember if she locked the door when she went out. I was thinking of checking if it was locked before I went down but DID NOT. I don't feel worry because it wasn't my money so I go home and help her look for the bill. I am telling her that I was lucky none of my things were stolen: Night is still on my bed and my money is still in my closet. I am confident when I suddenly remember that I am not wearing my ring. I panic and I rummage my jewelry box for it and COULD NOT FIND IT.
I cried so hard. I don't know how to tell my mother. I don't why things like these happen to me either. Apparently, I am not able to keep authentic jewelries. I lost the ring my mom gave when I was a kid when I put it in the giveaway box they gave away at my aunt's wedding. I probably took the wrong one and some lucky bastard found the ring and got lucky with it. Next, this gold necklace which I pawned Valentines Day of 2007. It was one of the things I regret most. The money I got and the things I bought with it were not worth it. And now, my mom's engagement ring. Got stolen when somebody entered our apparently UNLOCKED door. I still get teary-eyed thinking about it. I am just thankful Night was not stolen because if he was, I'd drug myself to death.
I don't want to blame my roommate but I can't deny that I'm placing half of the blame on her. Sometimes, I just want to stab her with my green scissors. She's so f**king careless and inconsiderate. And I know it's not good to think ill of people but sometimes, no, most of the time, I hope they'd kick her out and leave me alone (better) or with another roommate (okay with it).
Not about secrets of other people. What I'm going to say is that what I found out today was painful and right now I feel like I could cry for days.It's so unfair that the really bad things happen to good people.
I want to write though about how I lost my mom's engagement ring.
Saturday afternoon. It was hot and boring. After Godece, Sordy and I watched 10 thingsI hate about you, I suggested we went swimming at Family Park. It was just a spur-of-the-moment thing but then we went anyway. Before we left, I took off my ring because I DID NOT WANT TO LOSE IT there. Details of the swim are not noteworthy because the place and pool sucked. So we went home and I forgot to wear it back.
SUnday afternoon. After practice, Lori texts me that her 1000 peso bill went missing. She remembers putting it in her jewelry drawer but doesn't remember if she locked the door when she went out. I was thinking of checking if it was locked before I went down but DID NOT. I don't feel worry because it wasn't my money so I go home and help her look for the bill. I am telling her that I was lucky none of my things were stolen: Night is still on my bed and my money is still in my closet. I am confident when I suddenly remember that I am not wearing my ring. I panic and I rummage my jewelry box for it and COULD NOT FIND IT.
I cried so hard. I don't know how to tell my mother. I don't why things like these happen to me either. Apparently, I am not able to keep authentic jewelries. I lost the ring my mom gave when I was a kid when I put it in the giveaway box they gave away at my aunt's wedding. I probably took the wrong one and some lucky bastard found the ring and got lucky with it. Next, this gold necklace which I pawned Valentines Day of 2007. It was one of the things I regret most. The money I got and the things I bought with it were not worth it. And now, my mom's engagement ring. Got stolen when somebody entered our apparently UNLOCKED door. I still get teary-eyed thinking about it. I am just thankful Night was not stolen because if he was, I'd drug myself to death.
I don't want to blame my roommate but I can't deny that I'm placing half of the blame on her. Sometimes, I just want to stab her with my green scissors. She's so f**king careless and inconsiderate. And I know it's not good to think ill of people but sometimes, no, most of the time, I hope they'd kick her out and leave me alone (better) or with another roommate (okay with it).
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Mixture
My days have now become a mixture. Early in the day, it gets really, really bad and later in the day, I get so happy.
Rehearsals have been fun lately. Last Tuesday was the CAS Assembly so we just stayed around to wait for the rehearsals. Godece and Sordy were there with us, too! So we ate baked mac and found chinese garters and felt the sudden urge to be kids again. We bought some and then excitedly planned to play on the rooftop! It was sooo much fun! Half of us barely made it though. Haha. Apparently, our reflexes aren't as good as it used to be when we were much younger. After we played chinese, we sat for a while and decided to jog around and then play the three-legged race. AAAAHH!! I can't remember the last time I laughed sooo hard! So after that, there was stil some energy left so we played Marco Polo. Poor Sordy, had to be groped! Haha. Then we also commemorated our CAT days and formed our CAT formation under our commandant Hannah. Heeehee.
Whew. I was dripping from sweat like crazy after that! It was time to rehearse already so we rested. It would have been a good day absolutely had Patette been happy, too. But she wasn't. She was crying all over the place and just looking at her breaks my heart. She's upset over their dance but I didn't she had to be upset about it. She performed really well. So did the rest of her groupmates. SO before Patette came, I volunteered to be Eliza and realized that being lead IS really a difficult job. But I enjoyed it and they seem to have enjoyed my performance, too because we were all laughing.
Wednesday morning. I cried like shit. I was sooo angry I could have killed someone if I had the means to. First, I woke up late to write my essay so I finished late. As a result, I barely had time to take a bath and get dressed. I got out of the room, 5 minutes before the start of first period. I hurriedly went out to find a computer cafe to print the paper. Unfortunately, I had to walk quite a distance to find something open and unfortunately, 2 nursing students were lined up before me, printing and photocopying 5 pages of papers and arguing with the counter lady that it was supposed to be printed in long bond paper. I was already pissed so I imposed myself and had my essay printed first. So I was already LATE. When I was about to enter, the fucking guards stopped me. WHY?! Because I was wearing a pedal that was long enough to be a capri!!! I was already pissed because I had worn it a dozen times and had never been held off before. I told them I was late for my midterms but they would not listen and told me to enter through the center gate. I felt shouting but I knew there was nothing I could do. I went out and saw that the middle gate was fucking far so I decided to go home and change instead. When I entered again, I was already on the verge of crying because I was almost 30 minutes late already. They stopped me again to glance at my ID and I instinctively said "pisti" so they let me in. I took the exams with a heavy heart and when we got the cafeteria, I burst out and cried.
Thank God for friends, though I was able to smile again. The rest of the went pretty well after that. Rehearsals got us all laughing like crazy! Both the Elizas were absent so I again filled in for them. Lori was out somewhere else so Ken was the one who filled in for her. We just laughed so hard I felt my ovaries were coming off! Also, Patette told me really wonderful stories which really inspired me and made me happy. So all in all, I was happy yesterday. I hope to be happy today, too. So long.
Rehearsals have been fun lately. Last Tuesday was the CAS Assembly so we just stayed around to wait for the rehearsals. Godece and Sordy were there with us, too! So we ate baked mac and found chinese garters and felt the sudden urge to be kids again. We bought some and then excitedly planned to play on the rooftop! It was sooo much fun! Half of us barely made it though. Haha. Apparently, our reflexes aren't as good as it used to be when we were much younger. After we played chinese, we sat for a while and decided to jog around and then play the three-legged race. AAAAHH!! I can't remember the last time I laughed sooo hard! So after that, there was stil some energy left so we played Marco Polo. Poor Sordy, had to be groped! Haha. Then we also commemorated our CAT days and formed our CAT formation under our commandant Hannah. Heeehee.
Whew. I was dripping from sweat like crazy after that! It was time to rehearse already so we rested. It would have been a good day absolutely had Patette been happy, too. But she wasn't. She was crying all over the place and just looking at her breaks my heart. She's upset over their dance but I didn't she had to be upset about it. She performed really well. So did the rest of her groupmates. SO before Patette came, I volunteered to be Eliza and realized that being lead IS really a difficult job. But I enjoyed it and they seem to have enjoyed my performance, too because we were all laughing.
Wednesday morning. I cried like shit. I was sooo angry I could have killed someone if I had the means to. First, I woke up late to write my essay so I finished late. As a result, I barely had time to take a bath and get dressed. I got out of the room, 5 minutes before the start of first period. I hurriedly went out to find a computer cafe to print the paper. Unfortunately, I had to walk quite a distance to find something open and unfortunately, 2 nursing students were lined up before me, printing and photocopying 5 pages of papers and arguing with the counter lady that it was supposed to be printed in long bond paper. I was already pissed so I imposed myself and had my essay printed first. So I was already LATE. When I was about to enter, the fucking guards stopped me. WHY?! Because I was wearing a pedal that was long enough to be a capri!!! I was already pissed because I had worn it a dozen times and had never been held off before. I told them I was late for my midterms but they would not listen and told me to enter through the center gate. I felt shouting but I knew there was nothing I could do. I went out and saw that the middle gate was fucking far so I decided to go home and change instead. When I entered again, I was already on the verge of crying because I was almost 30 minutes late already. They stopped me again to glance at my ID and I instinctively said "pisti" so they let me in. I took the exams with a heavy heart and when we got the cafeteria, I burst out and cried.
Thank God for friends, though I was able to smile again. The rest of the went pretty well after that. Rehearsals got us all laughing like crazy! Both the Elizas were absent so I again filled in for them. Lori was out somewhere else so Ken was the one who filled in for her. We just laughed so hard I felt my ovaries were coming off! Also, Patette told me really wonderful stories which really inspired me and made me happy. So all in all, I was happy yesterday. I hope to be happy today, too. So long.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Hell Days
My days have been bad lately. I feel happy earlier in the day and then I find myself on the verge of self-injury a little later. Maybe it's the PMS thing I always hear but never actually experienced. Gah! At times I just want to kill someone!!!
Like yesterday, I went to Ayala to buy some stuff and as always, shopping made my happy. It was still early so I sat for a while and I headed off at around 6. Fucking traffic! Now you've probably guessed it that I arrived at 7 am. Thankfully though, one of my classmates seem to have been through the same boat and we arrived just about at the same time. I got 46/50 in my French midterms which is disappointing for me because I could have aced it had I taken it seriously and studied. Shite! I was just soo confident! But I was happy anyways. 46 is after all is still a high score.
Also, when I came home, the room was MESSY. And I spent 2 hours cleaning it like fuck and somebody has to mess it up in what, like, 2 minutes? I hate it when I do something nice and somebody totally screws it up and doesn't even bother or care to put the place in one clean piece again. And I hate the awkwardness. Because I know we both know that I know the HEAP of trouble she's into right now. I don't want to ask. She doesn't want to tell me, apparently. So we don't talk. AT ALL. Except of course when she asks me trivial things and I answer just as trivially. Talk about one hell of an elephant in the room.
It's just not me, you know. To be all brave and just bitch at someone like that. More so if she's been your friend for two years and who you thought was really cool until she goes and makes a big shit out of her life. Damn. I hate to be the firsthand witness of all this and I can't even do anything. I'd like to hope that she'd soon realize all the shit she's becoming. I don't even think she's beautiful anymore! She now looks like the crap's been beaten out of her! For now, I'll just keep silent until she comes around and gather up the courage to tell me herself.
Bad days, bad days, bad days. When will you fucking end?
Like yesterday, I went to Ayala to buy some stuff and as always, shopping made my happy. It was still early so I sat for a while and I headed off at around 6. Fucking traffic! Now you've probably guessed it that I arrived at 7 am. Thankfully though, one of my classmates seem to have been through the same boat and we arrived just about at the same time. I got 46/50 in my French midterms which is disappointing for me because I could have aced it had I taken it seriously and studied. Shite! I was just soo confident! But I was happy anyways. 46 is after all is still a high score.
Also, when I came home, the room was MESSY. And I spent 2 hours cleaning it like fuck and somebody has to mess it up in what, like, 2 minutes? I hate it when I do something nice and somebody totally screws it up and doesn't even bother or care to put the place in one clean piece again. And I hate the awkwardness. Because I know we both know that I know the HEAP of trouble she's into right now. I don't want to ask. She doesn't want to tell me, apparently. So we don't talk. AT ALL. Except of course when she asks me trivial things and I answer just as trivially. Talk about one hell of an elephant in the room.
It's just not me, you know. To be all brave and just bitch at someone like that. More so if she's been your friend for two years and who you thought was really cool until she goes and makes a big shit out of her life. Damn. I hate to be the firsthand witness of all this and I can't even do anything. I'd like to hope that she'd soon realize all the shit she's becoming. I don't even think she's beautiful anymore! She now looks like the crap's been beaten out of her! For now, I'll just keep silent until she comes around and gather up the courage to tell me herself.
Bad days, bad days, bad days. When will you fucking end?
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Back in Leyte
Last Friday was one of the worst days I've ever had to face. Everything got totally screwed up from my plan to study for physical science to the ticket. I was sooo fucking frustrated!!! But thank God for friends. Godece and Sordy and Patette cheered me up so I still went home with a smile.
I had fun!! But before my cousins came, I was bored out of my mind. There was no one I could talk to so I just played games on my cellphone. So I went up and met with Auntie Ella's made Ling-ling. She's pretty and really talkative and it makes me think it's a shame that she's not in school. And she said I was pretty so haha, that made my day. When Joan and Joy arrived, I was elaated! We caught up with each other's lives and talked 'till we were called by the old ones to help make sandwiches. It was when we met our 22-year old uncle we call Kuya Jay. When I first saw him, I absolutely thought he was reeaally cuute. But hands off of course, we're uncle and niece. Haha. All of us spent the whole night playing card games and slept at around 4:00 am. We also talked and goofed around. When we woke up, it was still 8 am.
The burial was at 1pm. I was teary-eyed because I saw my mom crying. But I wasn't able to cry myself. I don't know why. Maybe the tears I cried on Thursday were enough. So now I'm back in Leyte and not too excited to go back to Cebu. Because there will 3 midterm exams waiting for me and I haven't studied for one yet! But hopefully, I'll be able to study on the ship and maybe ace the midterms?! Hahaha.
I had fun!! But before my cousins came, I was bored out of my mind. There was no one I could talk to so I just played games on my cellphone. So I went up and met with Auntie Ella's made Ling-ling. She's pretty and really talkative and it makes me think it's a shame that she's not in school. And she said I was pretty so haha, that made my day. When Joan and Joy arrived, I was elaated! We caught up with each other's lives and talked 'till we were called by the old ones to help make sandwiches. It was when we met our 22-year old uncle we call Kuya Jay. When I first saw him, I absolutely thought he was reeaally cuute. But hands off of course, we're uncle and niece. Haha. All of us spent the whole night playing card games and slept at around 4:00 am. We also talked and goofed around. When we woke up, it was still 8 am.
The burial was at 1pm. I was teary-eyed because I saw my mom crying. But I wasn't able to cry myself. I don't know why. Maybe the tears I cried on Thursday were enough. So now I'm back in Leyte and not too excited to go back to Cebu. Because there will 3 midterm exams waiting for me and I haven't studied for one yet! But hopefully, I'll be able to study on the ship and maybe ace the midterms?! Hahaha.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Bad Morning
I woke up bad today. I slept at 2 am and had my alarm set at 4 and I woke up at 7 instead and found out that all the files I saved last night are gone. Fuck. I hibernated the fucking computer.
I'm going home tonight so I ought to feel better. And luckily, I only have one exam. But I have two classes. Last night, was my niece Nikki's birthday. It was held at Hotel Asia. Boy, the people! I was genuinely shocked at the crowd last night! And I brought Patette, Sordy and Godece with me too. I wanted them to meet my family. It was a shame though that my mom wasn't able to come. I'd love for them to meet her. But what really broke my heart was Tit's expression. He didn't seem at all happy. He probably misses mom already because he's leaving again for work. Kuya, too, will be leaving next week. It makes me sad knowing my mom has to be alone again for a long time. I don't know if she's gotten used to it but people don't normally want to me alone. It gives them too much time to think. And I don't like the things she might be thinking...with lolo dying and tits leaving and all. I just feel, even for a day,that I need to be with her and make her feel that even if we don't have that ideal mother-daughter bond, that I love her and I don't want her to feel sad.
But anyway. Life is sometimes that way. All I can do for her is to give my best on the exams. *sighs*
I'm still feeling pissed but not that much anymore.
I'm going home tonight so I ought to feel better. And luckily, I only have one exam. But I have two classes. Last night, was my niece Nikki's birthday. It was held at Hotel Asia. Boy, the people! I was genuinely shocked at the crowd last night! And I brought Patette, Sordy and Godece with me too. I wanted them to meet my family. It was a shame though that my mom wasn't able to come. I'd love for them to meet her. But what really broke my heart was Tit's expression. He didn't seem at all happy. He probably misses mom already because he's leaving again for work. Kuya, too, will be leaving next week. It makes me sad knowing my mom has to be alone again for a long time. I don't know if she's gotten used to it but people don't normally want to me alone. It gives them too much time to think. And I don't like the things she might be thinking...with lolo dying and tits leaving and all. I just feel, even for a day,that I need to be with her and make her feel that even if we don't have that ideal mother-daughter bond, that I love her and I don't want her to feel sad.
But anyway. Life is sometimes that way. All I can do for her is to give my best on the exams. *sighs*
I'm still feeling pissed but not that much anymore.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
This Sad Day
I woke up today knowing that my mom wouldn't be coming. I had a feeling. I wasn't excited. But to be sure, I tidied up my room last night. I scrubbed the floor, the bathroom, and swept like crazy. I finished around 1 am and slept. It was a good sleep. I even had a dream which I couldn't remember now.
Last night's rehearsals were good. But I don't want to talk about yesterday. I want to talk about today. I was right. My mom's not coming. My grandfather died. And now I'm crying my eyes out.
My lolo had been sick since I was old enough to learn who he was. He had some sort of degenerative disease, the ones that eat up your motor nerves until you are eventually disabled from moving about or talking to your grandchildren. I didn't have the chance to get know lolo because by the time I had stories to tell, he already lost the ability to speak comprehensibly. He'd murmur and twist his face almost in smile, as if asking how I was doing in school. I remember smiling back and saying I was in okay and he laughed like a sick person would laugh. My mom was the only person who could understand him and she said he wasn't asking how I was but what grade I was in. I laughed back and shyly told him I was in 5th grade. That was the only conversation I remember having with him.
As I grew up, he grew more sick. And when I got to college, he was thin as a sick. We'd eventually visit and give him a kiss on the forehead but that was all the contact we made with him. And now he's gone and I wish I did something more. He could still hear. Why didn't I talk to him like I should have? Let him know that I was grown up? I'm sure that would have made him happy although I know he wouldn't be able to show it. I should've done something that made him happy. But I know he was happy. I hear him almost saying I miss you when he murmurs as I make lamano. And you can see in his eyes how excited he is every time we come over and just being there even if we don't talk to him. I'm sure if he could talk and move, he'd drive us in his four-wheeled bicyle and take us to that river where they used to fish.
I'm stupid. I just realized how much I loved him and now it's too late.
Last night's rehearsals were good. But I don't want to talk about yesterday. I want to talk about today. I was right. My mom's not coming. My grandfather died. And now I'm crying my eyes out.
My lolo had been sick since I was old enough to learn who he was. He had some sort of degenerative disease, the ones that eat up your motor nerves until you are eventually disabled from moving about or talking to your grandchildren. I didn't have the chance to get know lolo because by the time I had stories to tell, he already lost the ability to speak comprehensibly. He'd murmur and twist his face almost in smile, as if asking how I was doing in school. I remember smiling back and saying I was in okay and he laughed like a sick person would laugh. My mom was the only person who could understand him and she said he wasn't asking how I was but what grade I was in. I laughed back and shyly told him I was in 5th grade. That was the only conversation I remember having with him.
As I grew up, he grew more sick. And when I got to college, he was thin as a sick. We'd eventually visit and give him a kiss on the forehead but that was all the contact we made with him. And now he's gone and I wish I did something more. He could still hear. Why didn't I talk to him like I should have? Let him know that I was grown up? I'm sure that would have made him happy although I know he wouldn't be able to show it. I should've done something that made him happy. But I know he was happy. I hear him almost saying I miss you when he murmurs as I make lamano. And you can see in his eyes how excited he is every time we come over and just being there even if we don't talk to him. I'm sure if he could talk and move, he'd drive us in his four-wheeled bicyle and take us to that river where they used to fish.
I'm stupid. I just realized how much I loved him and now it's too late.
Sunday, August 09, 2009
Getting Broke
I'm getting broke. Fast.
Have I mentioned that on Friday, Patette and I pigged out at Shakey's? Yes, and there went the money I put aside to buy a new printer. And also yesterday, when I was about to step out to buy a drama series to occupy myself for the coming days, we went out again. What was initially supposed to be just cheese strussel and coffee at Julies which would usually cost less than 20 pesos turned out to be a Mango Frost and a Choco Banana Muffin at Figaro's which cost me 200 pesos. And now, I barely have budget for this week. Thank God though that parents will be coming on Wednesday for Nikki's birthday, and probably to check on me. And of course that implies that I'd have to clean the room and hide whatever it is that they might not want to see. It also spells another thing: MONEY. Haha, guess I won't be too broke this week!
Rehearsals were good yesterday, I enjoyed myself. Today too was fun. Before we rehearsed the scenes, we did few acting drills which were really fun. Apparently, Aaron and I are being typecast as a couple. Heh. Imagine Colonel Pickering and Mrs. Pearce having an affair haha. So Anyway, I went to mass today, too. After the rehearsals, I went to meet with Dara and Lynjun for dinner. My money was enough luckily. I'm really tired right now and I'll probably sleep after I post this. So, all in all, my Sunday is good. Hoping Monday will be too!
Have I mentioned that on Friday, Patette and I pigged out at Shakey's? Yes, and there went the money I put aside to buy a new printer. And also yesterday, when I was about to step out to buy a drama series to occupy myself for the coming days, we went out again. What was initially supposed to be just cheese strussel and coffee at Julies which would usually cost less than 20 pesos turned out to be a Mango Frost and a Choco Banana Muffin at Figaro's which cost me 200 pesos. And now, I barely have budget for this week. Thank God though that parents will be coming on Wednesday for Nikki's birthday, and probably to check on me. And of course that implies that I'd have to clean the room and hide whatever it is that they might not want to see. It also spells another thing: MONEY. Haha, guess I won't be too broke this week!
Rehearsals were good yesterday, I enjoyed myself. Today too was fun. Before we rehearsed the scenes, we did few acting drills which were really fun. Apparently, Aaron and I are being typecast as a couple. Heh. Imagine Colonel Pickering and Mrs. Pearce having an affair haha. So Anyway, I went to mass today, too. After the rehearsals, I went to meet with Dara and Lynjun for dinner. My money was enough luckily. I'm really tired right now and I'll probably sleep after I post this. So, all in all, my Sunday is good. Hoping Monday will be too!
Saturday, August 08, 2009
This I Have to Say
Friday was the day I had too much to eat. Literally! My stomach could barely hold it in! It was because after play rehearsals, Patette and I had a spur-of-the-moment hunger and we jumped out of the jeep to eat in Shakey's. I wasn't THAT hungry but I was nonetheless hungry.
Rehearsals were okay. I had fun because we kept goofing around about Mrs. Pearce and Colonel Pickering getting a kissing scene of their own. Well, anyway, we'll be rehearsing today, too so come what may.
It's Saturday morning and I haven't got much to say yet except that I am utterly disappointed with this one person. It's so shameful to watch someone undergo a process of slow eventual damage. More so if you actually witness it. I am never the type of person to judge other people so I reserve my judgment until the day comes when this person either changes for the better or ruins his/her life completely. But now, all I can say is that I am disappointed. He/She has so much to give, smart and attractive and funny, and yet, he/she wastes herself over this humdrum useless gathering of vices.
But I guess there is something to learn from other people's mistakes. Seeing this person under the influence of alcohol and what-not makes me want to be better. And I want to be better. I want to understand why he/she is doing this to his/herself but truthfully, I really don't get it. Family reasons, perhaps? That's a fucking lame excuse. I grew up without a father and barely a mother and I'm not out there destroying my life. But I guess it goes to show how people can be vulnerable to the world. I think this person is special and I hate to see him/her waste away all the good things that he/she has.
*sigh* In the end though, all I can do for this person is to be there for him/her and pray that one day, he/she can see that the world is so much more beautiful that what other people try to make it seem. Ma, I am ending here.
Rehearsals were okay. I had fun because we kept goofing around about Mrs. Pearce and Colonel Pickering getting a kissing scene of their own. Well, anyway, we'll be rehearsing today, too so come what may.
It's Saturday morning and I haven't got much to say yet except that I am utterly disappointed with this one person. It's so shameful to watch someone undergo a process of slow eventual damage. More so if you actually witness it. I am never the type of person to judge other people so I reserve my judgment until the day comes when this person either changes for the better or ruins his/her life completely. But now, all I can say is that I am disappointed. He/She has so much to give, smart and attractive and funny, and yet, he/she wastes herself over this humdrum useless gathering of vices.
But I guess there is something to learn from other people's mistakes. Seeing this person under the influence of alcohol and what-not makes me want to be better. And I want to be better. I want to understand why he/she is doing this to his/herself but truthfully, I really don't get it. Family reasons, perhaps? That's a fucking lame excuse. I grew up without a father and barely a mother and I'm not out there destroying my life. But I guess it goes to show how people can be vulnerable to the world. I think this person is special and I hate to see him/her waste away all the good things that he/she has.
*sigh* In the end though, all I can do for this person is to be there for him/her and pray that one day, he/she can see that the world is so much more beautiful that what other people try to make it seem. Ma, I am ending here.
Thursday, August 06, 2009
An Empty Thursday
I should have gone hoome!! Rehearsals were canceled today and that put the icing on the cake. I absolutely did not do anything significant today. Well, except that I finished my assignments and finally found a copy of Skip Beat!, today was really, really empty.
I'm starting to feel lonely again. And I haven't felt lonely since..well...a very long time. Maybe I'm just feeling a little homesick. *sighs* I want to go home so bad I'm starting to regret I'm part of the cast. But of course, I'll never absolutely regret it. It's always been an ambition to star in a real production. My role is not really significant but I'm proud of myself.
Rehearsals though weren't what I pictured it to be. I can't put it to words but I think something is missing. Oh well. I guess I'll be watching Skip Beat! all night.
I'm starting to feel lonely again. And I haven't felt lonely since..well...a very long time. Maybe I'm just feeling a little homesick. *sighs* I want to go home so bad I'm starting to regret I'm part of the cast. But of course, I'll never absolutely regret it. It's always been an ambition to star in a real production. My role is not really significant but I'm proud of myself.
Rehearsals though weren't what I pictured it to be. I can't put it to words but I think something is missing. Oh well. I guess I'll be watching Skip Beat! all night.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Wednesday
Today is Genesis', Adam's and Jarvin's Birthday. I greeted all of them via text. Ah I was so happy to receive their replies, especially Kuya Gen's since we don't text too much. We have no classes today so I agreed to go out with Sam.
I enjoyed it because we got to catch up with each other. She made me wait an hour though. I was okay with it because I entertained myself by squiring the national bookstore. I taught her the basics of Russian. Before that, we had lunch at Moon's. AAAhh!! I am so full right now! Then we went to Seattle's for coffee. I realized that Starbucks is much preferable. I told her I'd leave early for rehearsals so I left at 2.30.
Sordy and Godece already left last night for Leyte. I was sooo envious! I want to goo hoome so badly!! But we have rehearsals and not going home will be the price of being in the cast. Well, anyway. We still have no classes tomorrow. Oh well, seems like some okay day for me.
But I hope though that today will be happy for the birthday boys. They're all nice guys. They deserve to feel special today. So I'm ending today's post here.
I enjoyed it because we got to catch up with each other. She made me wait an hour though. I was okay with it because I entertained myself by squiring the national bookstore. I taught her the basics of Russian. Before that, we had lunch at Moon's. AAAhh!! I am so full right now! Then we went to Seattle's for coffee. I realized that Starbucks is much preferable. I told her I'd leave early for rehearsals so I left at 2.30.
Sordy and Godece already left last night for Leyte. I was sooo envious! I want to goo hoome so badly!! But we have rehearsals and not going home will be the price of being in the cast. Well, anyway. We still have no classes tomorrow. Oh well, seems like some okay day for me.
But I hope though that today will be happy for the birthday boys. They're all nice guys. They deserve to feel special today. So I'm ending today's post here.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
First Rehearsals
I stick to my word that skipping a major class like English31 to make a report for a minor subject like Physical Science is crazy. But I'm going to be honest. I was really bent on skipping but then I realized that I didn't want to see a highlighter instead of my signature on the attendance list. So I came. Still. Haha
I was glad I came because we had a short quiz and I didn't get to report in PhyScie. I imagine I'd be throwing a fit if I skipped. So I spent the rest of the afternoon sleeping. It wasn't a good siesta because I kept waking up to pee. I keep peeing these days and the left side of my abdomen hurts. I told my mom about it and she said they were signs of Urinary Tract Infection and I had to take an anti-biotic. I don't get it. A part of me is actually looking forward to getting UTI...am I the weirdest or what?
So I had my first rehearsals today for our play. We are doing My Fair Lady which is technically based on George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion. I got the part of Mrs. Pearce. I wanted Mrs. Higgins but Mrs. Pearce is also okay. At least I get to say something, right? So anyway, I enjoyed it. I could say I was surprised to discover that JC is GOOD. He's really good! He knows how to put stresses and use intonations on his lines and his facial expressions are flawless too. Patette was of course, as expected, great. Her cockney is good too. Danica has to improve on hers a bit but she's nonetheless got it. I'm not sure about Aldwin being Mr. Higgins though. He has good voice projection but his lines sound monotonous. Well anyway, I'm sure everyone's going to improve once we get the hang of rehearsals. Sir Eugene is okay as a director, at least he's not too uptight. Or maybe because we're still at the beginning. The rehearsals excite me at really high levels but I'm sad because I wouldn't be able to go home because of them. We're going to be rehearsing like crazy starting this week until of course the play dates.
I'm kind of hoping my parents could come and watch. My role is small but at least they could watch me do my thing for once. Speaking of parents, ah, I miss them sooo much!!! I want to gooo hoooome!!! Godece and Sordy are leaving for Leyte tonight which makes me really upset. *tears* And we don't have classes tomorrow and Thursday. *sighs*
My only source of consolation is that this play will be worth it. Which I'm sure it will be. When I think of that, I'm not so sad anymore. Oh well. I end here.
I was glad I came because we had a short quiz and I didn't get to report in PhyScie. I imagine I'd be throwing a fit if I skipped. So I spent the rest of the afternoon sleeping. It wasn't a good siesta because I kept waking up to pee. I keep peeing these days and the left side of my abdomen hurts. I told my mom about it and she said they were signs of Urinary Tract Infection and I had to take an anti-biotic. I don't get it. A part of me is actually looking forward to getting UTI...am I the weirdest or what?
So I had my first rehearsals today for our play. We are doing My Fair Lady which is technically based on George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion. I got the part of Mrs. Pearce. I wanted Mrs. Higgins but Mrs. Pearce is also okay. At least I get to say something, right? So anyway, I enjoyed it. I could say I was surprised to discover that JC is GOOD. He's really good! He knows how to put stresses and use intonations on his lines and his facial expressions are flawless too. Patette was of course, as expected, great. Her cockney is good too. Danica has to improve on hers a bit but she's nonetheless got it. I'm not sure about Aldwin being Mr. Higgins though. He has good voice projection but his lines sound monotonous. Well anyway, I'm sure everyone's going to improve once we get the hang of rehearsals. Sir Eugene is okay as a director, at least he's not too uptight. Or maybe because we're still at the beginning. The rehearsals excite me at really high levels but I'm sad because I wouldn't be able to go home because of them. We're going to be rehearsing like crazy starting this week until of course the play dates.
I'm kind of hoping my parents could come and watch. My role is small but at least they could watch me do my thing for once. Speaking of parents, ah, I miss them sooo much!!! I want to gooo hoooome!!! Godece and Sordy are leaving for Leyte tonight which makes me really upset. *tears* And we don't have classes tomorrow and Thursday. *sighs*
My only source of consolation is that this play will be worth it. Which I'm sure it will be. When I think of that, I'm not so sad anymore. Oh well. I end here.
Monday, August 03, 2009
Dolly's Birthday
Yesterday was Dolly's Birthday! She's turning 19 this year..and so will the rest of us haha. Scaaary. Anyway, I had soo much fun!
I wasn't really planning on going at first because I wasn't in the mood to go out. Yesterday was also the first rehearsals for the cast and some of us were confused if we had to go or not. But when Dolly texted me that we were her only guests, I had to come. It's hard to say no to something like that.
So I met with Earl and Lynjun at E-mall at ll.40, Jaye and Alyssa came at around 12 and as expected, we left at around 12.15. We also bought this mango float-ish cake for Dolly which was really yummy. When we got to her house, no one else was there but her family. We were a bit shy but then we eventually warmed up. The eating started and the next thing I knew, I was having the fullest moment of my life. I was just so full I felt like I was going to throw up anytime! I hadn't eaten that much food since our fiesta! My poor stomach!
So we stayed there for around four hours, still eating (even if there was barely room) and talking. I wanted to go to Ayala to buy *that* but they insisted we should go to mass together. Seriously, if people had friends like mine, they wouldn't be off doing drugs or wasting themselves on alcohol. But we had beer of course, which I didn't indulge myself in because the smell by itself is already vomit-inducing. So we walked to Church and heard mass and parted ways.
I went to Ayala and on the way, was able to talk to Sir Khleint. Haha he's still soo talkative! And then I went home. My original plan was to sleep directly but I found Lori watching My Boss my Hero so I watched with her. Ah it never gets old!
But another little thing that made me happy today was when Ezra called Dolly, he asked for me to be put on the phone and we talked for about a minute. It was awkward, I didn't know what to say. That made me happy because that proved that somehow, I was missed. There's also that other thing but I won't be reading too much into it. Don't want to risk my heart out there a second time.
On the whole anyway, yesterday was a good day. A little windy and rain-y but it was exactly my kind of weather. Today is Monday and I only have two classes. Right now, I'm thinking of skipping English 31 to make my report in Physical Science but I think that doesn't make sense. Haha.
I wasn't really planning on going at first because I wasn't in the mood to go out. Yesterday was also the first rehearsals for the cast and some of us were confused if we had to go or not. But when Dolly texted me that we were her only guests, I had to come. It's hard to say no to something like that.
So I met with Earl and Lynjun at E-mall at ll.40, Jaye and Alyssa came at around 12 and as expected, we left at around 12.15. We also bought this mango float-ish cake for Dolly which was really yummy. When we got to her house, no one else was there but her family. We were a bit shy but then we eventually warmed up. The eating started and the next thing I knew, I was having the fullest moment of my life. I was just so full I felt like I was going to throw up anytime! I hadn't eaten that much food since our fiesta! My poor stomach!
So we stayed there for around four hours, still eating (even if there was barely room) and talking. I wanted to go to Ayala to buy *that* but they insisted we should go to mass together. Seriously, if people had friends like mine, they wouldn't be off doing drugs or wasting themselves on alcohol. But we had beer of course, which I didn't indulge myself in because the smell by itself is already vomit-inducing. So we walked to Church and heard mass and parted ways.
I went to Ayala and on the way, was able to talk to Sir Khleint. Haha he's still soo talkative! And then I went home. My original plan was to sleep directly but I found Lori watching My Boss my Hero so I watched with her. Ah it never gets old!
But another little thing that made me happy today was when Ezra called Dolly, he asked for me to be put on the phone and we talked for about a minute. It was awkward, I didn't know what to say. That made me happy because that proved that somehow, I was missed. There's also that other thing but I won't be reading too much into it. Don't want to risk my heart out there a second time.
On the whole anyway, yesterday was a good day. A little windy and rain-y but it was exactly my kind of weather. Today is Monday and I only have two classes. Right now, I'm thinking of skipping English 31 to make my report in Physical Science but I think that doesn't make sense. Haha.
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Long Time No Write
I realized today, thanks to that seminar we had this afternoon, that I needed to write here again. I don't really know why I stopped. But looking back, I think it was because my life got to a point where I just can't write things anymore and just enjoy stuff without having to type down every detail of it. But I guess that was just me being a lazy bum. I have realized now that writing is a part of who I am.
I didn't really wanna go to today's seminar because it's journalism and I'm not really into that kind of writing. But I'm glad I did go. The seminar's speaker was amazing. She's an Filipino-American entertainment journalist named Nadine Mendoza. She talked about how she started with a small dream which eventually introduced her to the industry of writing of and about celebrities. It sounds a hassling job but she sounds just like the type of person who could do stuff like that and be good at it. I've never dreamed of becoming a journalist but now that I have met her, I feel like I could also take that path.
My dream, back when I was still six, was to be an actress. The writing part came a little much later when I got addicted to reading and discovered I could also write stuff. I've known because something in my gut have always told me that I was born to be part of the entertainment industry. I wanted attention, I knew how to keep it when I had it. I love being recognized. It's just that feeling when you know you're meant to do something but don't actually understand what that something is. I know, I just know, that I was not meant to be just ordinary. I know someday, a lot of people will know who I am. I am sure of that.
I also know that people have to start small. I'm not gonna lie and say that I was okay when they told me I wasn't part of the major cast list of our play. I think I was disappointed with myself because I allowed myself to get attached to that thought that I'd be someone needed in that production. But thinking about it allowed me to realize that I have to accept whatever they give me. I have to start at the bottom. I do not have a right to be arrogant or proud. I am just a part of the play. It doesn't revolve around me.
So anyway, I feel better now that I am writing this down. I'll try to write everyday but knowing myself, it is more likely that I will not be able to do that. But I WILL write as much as possible.
I'm really feeling that English major spirit right now. Which is good. So I am ending the first post of many other posts to come (hopefully ;-)).
I didn't really wanna go to today's seminar because it's journalism and I'm not really into that kind of writing. But I'm glad I did go. The seminar's speaker was amazing. She's an Filipino-American entertainment journalist named Nadine Mendoza. She talked about how she started with a small dream which eventually introduced her to the industry of writing of and about celebrities. It sounds a hassling job but she sounds just like the type of person who could do stuff like that and be good at it. I've never dreamed of becoming a journalist but now that I have met her, I feel like I could also take that path.
My dream, back when I was still six, was to be an actress. The writing part came a little much later when I got addicted to reading and discovered I could also write stuff. I've known because something in my gut have always told me that I was born to be part of the entertainment industry. I wanted attention, I knew how to keep it when I had it. I love being recognized. It's just that feeling when you know you're meant to do something but don't actually understand what that something is. I know, I just know, that I was not meant to be just ordinary. I know someday, a lot of people will know who I am. I am sure of that.
I also know that people have to start small. I'm not gonna lie and say that I was okay when they told me I wasn't part of the major cast list of our play. I think I was disappointed with myself because I allowed myself to get attached to that thought that I'd be someone needed in that production. But thinking about it allowed me to realize that I have to accept whatever they give me. I have to start at the bottom. I do not have a right to be arrogant or proud. I am just a part of the play. It doesn't revolve around me.
So anyway, I feel better now that I am writing this down. I'll try to write everyday but knowing myself, it is more likely that I will not be able to do that. But I WILL write as much as possible.
I'm really feeling that English major spirit right now. Which is good. So I am ending the first post of many other posts to come (hopefully ;-)).
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