Angry piano notes screaming
Thousand knives desiring to bury
themselves under articles of skin
Crimson tears threatening to fall
Fingernails ripping eyes
Pain rushing through my blood
Hate eating me up, gnawing on
that red pulsating mass
I want to kill you
Hear the veins in your neck snap
See you lifeless
I hate you
Hairless head, broken hands
I long to see you bleed
Hear you scream in agony
Along with those ugly piano
pieces
Fuck you
and your friends
When you sleep
I hope those ugly eyes
never flutter open again
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you
Words can never
Fuck you
describe how much
I want to see you dead
NOW.
Why do you fucking exist?
Fuck you
and your friends. Go to hell
Here I go again
Monday, October 26, 2009
Monday, October 05, 2009
19th Birthday Post!
This is one kick-ass birthday.
I stayed up late that night because I was watching Nodame Catabile (which is now one of my favorite Jdoramas) and waited until the clock hit twelve. Two greetings already: Hannah and Ytel. Then, my sister called and we talked for about a mintue. I guess it's my birthday already.
Earlier that day, I had a mani-pedi and I kind of window-shopped at Ayala although I could've bought something with the money my mom gave me. I so did not expect she'd give that big of an amount. But it was just enough as I spent my allowance money already. Lol. So I slept at around 12.30 and by 2:00, I was kidnapped.
I was at first awoken by the forceful handling of the door, the knob was dancing like crazy. I though it was Lori who had just forgotten her key. But when I closed my eyes to go back to sleep, three masked and dark figures ran inside and covered my mouth, bound my legs and hands and blindfolded. I was scared out my wits. But when I heard a familiar giggle, I couldn't help but smile. My friends are the worst kidnappers.
They tied my hands with packaging tape, blindfolded me with a loose hanky and tied the cloth over my mouth so loose that I could remove it by just moving my mouth. I also had to voluntarily stand up from the bed because I don't want them to carry me to where they planned to bring me. So they ended up pushing me, and led me to this room with a chair. My first guess was Patette's room because they led me that way and the smell was familiar. When they closed the door, I removed my blindfold (which was quite easy) and found myself shut in the fire escape. I tried my best not to shout so I wouldn't wake the rest of the boarding house, but I was begging them to let me out. I also keep putting back that cloth over my mouth as it kept falling down and if it fell, I wouldn't look a convincing captive. Lol. The moon was also shining really bright. Around 10 minutes later, my kidnappers started taunting me with horrifying sounds. I know I shouldn't be scared but I genuinely was. They finally opened the door and when I was about to come out, Patette broke 3 eggs on my head.
"I love you", she said. I was horrified! It felt so slime-y and I don't like the smell of it. But we laughed anyway. I looked so terrible and pathetic. Lol. I was also greeted by my birthday cake. I was sooo tocuhed! They also made this message folder for me which really made me laugh. So I washed of my birthday eggs and we ate cake together.
It was around 4:00 I guess when we decided to go back to sleep. We planned to go to mass together the following morning. The following morning, however, Sordy came with a headache and Patette still lacked sleep, so it was just Godece and I who went to mass. We were supposed to go to a Mandaue church but Godece was afraid we'd get lost so we ended up hearing mass at Sto. Rosario. Greetings also flooded that morning. But the best one was from my mom. I don't know how I'm suppose to feel but I was happy...that kind of unadulterated happiness that kids seem to enjoy...when she told me she loved me. My insides still do somersaults when I think about it.
I told my high-school friends I'd make them eat in Leyte na lang because I was short of budget. Which of course was true. I wanted to eat with the friends who know what's going on in my life, who I see everyday, who make me feel that I'm special. Not that my other friends don't make me feel special, it's just that sometimes, they are insensitive to my feelings and I don't want to experience that on my birthday.
So I invited a couple of people besides our group and treated them all to Cheaverz. We ate a LOT and I was happy when I heard them say they were full to death. We enjoyed the talk after dinner, it was fun. We stayed there for 3 hours and went out to walk and buy ice cream. Jen had to go first so we bid her goodbye. After ice cream, Rizna and Anja had to leave, too so we were left alone with each other. We are rarely complete so I was happy that we were on my birthday. We goofed around for a bit in th parking lot, took pictures and laughed. It was time for Paul and Hannah to leave so we also said goodbye to them. Lori was weak already so she had to go upstaris first. But the four of us: Sordy, Godece, Patette and I were far from weak so we dared ourselves:
Lie down on the middle of a busy road.
It wasn't easy because we had to face danger and humiliation. Lol. After several failed attempts, Patette lay onher butt and spread out her arms. We followed. After several seconds, we hurriedly got up and ran screaming towards the parking lot. The feeling was soo great that we did it for a second time. This time, we lay there for a much longer span of time. We heard people laughing so we got up and laughed at ourselves, too.
The night was waning and I'm forever 19 until of course I become 20 which is a really, really scary thought. I'm getting old and I don't think I've grown up that much yet. Clock ticks and my birthday is over. Three important friends haven't greeted me yet. I'm a bit hurt but shoganai.
On the whole, this was the most wonderful birthday I've ever had. Really. Friends are great, food was awesome and I'm coming to terms with my new age. Hello, another year in my life!
I stayed up late that night because I was watching Nodame Catabile (which is now one of my favorite Jdoramas) and waited until the clock hit twelve. Two greetings already: Hannah and Ytel. Then, my sister called and we talked for about a mintue. I guess it's my birthday already.
Earlier that day, I had a mani-pedi and I kind of window-shopped at Ayala although I could've bought something with the money my mom gave me. I so did not expect she'd give that big of an amount. But it was just enough as I spent my allowance money already. Lol. So I slept at around 12.30 and by 2:00, I was kidnapped.
I was at first awoken by the forceful handling of the door, the knob was dancing like crazy. I though it was Lori who had just forgotten her key. But when I closed my eyes to go back to sleep, three masked and dark figures ran inside and covered my mouth, bound my legs and hands and blindfolded. I was scared out my wits. But when I heard a familiar giggle, I couldn't help but smile. My friends are the worst kidnappers.
They tied my hands with packaging tape, blindfolded me with a loose hanky and tied the cloth over my mouth so loose that I could remove it by just moving my mouth. I also had to voluntarily stand up from the bed because I don't want them to carry me to where they planned to bring me. So they ended up pushing me, and led me to this room with a chair. My first guess was Patette's room because they led me that way and the smell was familiar. When they closed the door, I removed my blindfold (which was quite easy) and found myself shut in the fire escape. I tried my best not to shout so I wouldn't wake the rest of the boarding house, but I was begging them to let me out. I also keep putting back that cloth over my mouth as it kept falling down and if it fell, I wouldn't look a convincing captive. Lol. The moon was also shining really bright. Around 10 minutes later, my kidnappers started taunting me with horrifying sounds. I know I shouldn't be scared but I genuinely was. They finally opened the door and when I was about to come out, Patette broke 3 eggs on my head.
"I love you", she said. I was horrified! It felt so slime-y and I don't like the smell of it. But we laughed anyway. I looked so terrible and pathetic. Lol. I was also greeted by my birthday cake. I was sooo tocuhed! They also made this message folder for me which really made me laugh. So I washed of my birthday eggs and we ate cake together.
It was around 4:00 I guess when we decided to go back to sleep. We planned to go to mass together the following morning. The following morning, however, Sordy came with a headache and Patette still lacked sleep, so it was just Godece and I who went to mass. We were supposed to go to a Mandaue church but Godece was afraid we'd get lost so we ended up hearing mass at Sto. Rosario. Greetings also flooded that morning. But the best one was from my mom. I don't know how I'm suppose to feel but I was happy...that kind of unadulterated happiness that kids seem to enjoy...when she told me she loved me. My insides still do somersaults when I think about it.
I told my high-school friends I'd make them eat in Leyte na lang because I was short of budget. Which of course was true. I wanted to eat with the friends who know what's going on in my life, who I see everyday, who make me feel that I'm special. Not that my other friends don't make me feel special, it's just that sometimes, they are insensitive to my feelings and I don't want to experience that on my birthday.
So I invited a couple of people besides our group and treated them all to Cheaverz. We ate a LOT and I was happy when I heard them say they were full to death. We enjoyed the talk after dinner, it was fun. We stayed there for 3 hours and went out to walk and buy ice cream. Jen had to go first so we bid her goodbye. After ice cream, Rizna and Anja had to leave, too so we were left alone with each other. We are rarely complete so I was happy that we were on my birthday. We goofed around for a bit in th parking lot, took pictures and laughed. It was time for Paul and Hannah to leave so we also said goodbye to them. Lori was weak already so she had to go upstaris first. But the four of us: Sordy, Godece, Patette and I were far from weak so we dared ourselves:
Lie down on the middle of a busy road.
It wasn't easy because we had to face danger and humiliation. Lol. After several failed attempts, Patette lay onher butt and spread out her arms. We followed. After several seconds, we hurriedly got up and ran screaming towards the parking lot. The feeling was soo great that we did it for a second time. This time, we lay there for a much longer span of time. We heard people laughing so we got up and laughed at ourselves, too.
The night was waning and I'm forever 19 until of course I become 20 which is a really, really scary thought. I'm getting old and I don't think I've grown up that much yet. Clock ticks and my birthday is over. Three important friends haven't greeted me yet. I'm a bit hurt but shoganai.
On the whole, this was the most wonderful birthday I've ever had. Really. Friends are great, food was awesome and I'm coming to terms with my new age. Hello, another year in my life!
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