Happy New Years! It's 2010! And well since it's that, I feel like I have to write in here haha. Last year was colored by a LOT of drama, a lot of crazy things, a lot of new people. But the highlights I guess were my roommate, my dormmates and well my old high school friends. I'd be happy to write down everything that I failed to write when it was still fresh but it'd be too long and it's almost three and I'm getting sleepy.
What I really want to say in this blog post is that 2009 taught me a really important lesson: DON'T BE TOO NICE. I mean it's nice to be nice but when you're too nice, people start getting the impression that you don't have feelings and they just go about abusing you. And I'm sensitive when it comes to that people-use-people kind of thing. I guess my troubled elementary days shaped me into someone who's always behind the more-agressive kids, who lets other people look down on her, who's always tolerant. My high school years helped me ease out of that mentality a bit but I still had trouble saying no. When I got to college, I started moving out that shell and I began speaking for myself. I learned to get angry and allow myself to let other people know that I am. That's my new year's resolution.
STOP BEING TOO NICE.
I don't know exactly where the line is drawn but when my friends or other people do anything that is potentially harmful to my pride and my feelings, I will not hesitate to defend myself and speak up. I am tired of being the one always upset and disappointed and angry. It's time people know that I also get mad and when I do, they better know how to placate me. I've learned that it's easy ignoring people and when I do ignore people, they're the ones who come to me and say sorry. I'm a sensitive person and I know how to say sorry when I make a mistake or when I've hurt somebody but I also know when it is not my fault and it is not my obligation to say sorry. When it comes to forgiving, I'm very particular.
Words hurt me more than actions do. I'd mind more if you insult me than if you punch me hard in the face. If you don't have the guts to say sorry, BELIEVE ME, I will not talk to you until you do. My pride works that way.
Anyway, I'm starting to rant again and my eyes are kind of really getting heavy. *sighs* I have two more days here. Again, happy 2010!! :-D
